Friday, June 4, 2010

I JUST CAN'T DO IT


 I had been thinking about going to school at night so that I could eventually get a job and help contribute to our household financially. My dear husband works so hard but we still struggle. So without going before the Lord and waiting to hear from Him (like I should always do), I got it all figured out (so I thought).  I will go to school so that I can get a good paying job so that I can help, Beau, with this mountain of bills and I can pay for my kids to enroll in all the fun activities that all these other kids get to do. There were so many things to think about if I was soon to be a working mom-What daycare will I enroll Ariana in? How much will it cost to enroll all the kids in childcare in the summer? How will I have time to do homework with the kids and get dinner made and on the table before bedtime? Will every dinner be from the crock pot? (I'm not knockin' the crock pot, but every dinner? really?) e.t.c....  So, I armed myself with books from the library about how to make working away from home work. The more I read from these books, the more stressed out I became. These moms were making it work but the price was high. I would spend time with my kids on Saturdays, I would most likely pick something up to eat on my way home from work, My kids would be raised by daycare providers, my house would only be cleaned on Saturdays (if not too tired), so on and so on... My head was spinning! Maybe I hadn't thought this out completely. Now I decided to pray about it. After putting myself through all this, WHY IN THE WORLD DID I NOT PRAY FROM THE BEGINNING????? I knew that I needed to sit down and talk to Beau and get this figured out. I begin talking to Beau in my most serious tone and I lay out the pros and cons of it all. So Beau just looks at me for awhile after I've finished talking ( the look was kinda like he was staring at an alien from another planet) and finally his mouth opens and he says, " Do you really want to work?"  Now I'm looking at him like HE'S from another planet. So I begin telling him how I don't really want to work but I know that moms sometimes have to do it and how I don't want all the financial burden to fall on him and he deserves to have some nice things... So he calmly tells me that he'd just get a part-time job in addition to the job he has now. What does he mean JUST get a part-time job? I tell him that's too much working for one man to do. In which he replies, "It's okay, besides, I'd still be working if you are gone out the house working." Well THANK GOD!!! I've got too many PTA meetings at Bakari's school, I'm a cub scout den leader, and my family likes to eat real food! I've got too much on my plate to have a job away from home :-) Also, you should have seen Beau's face when I was letting him know that he'd need to take Bakari to cub scout day camp everyday from 4-8p.m. for a week straight because I'd be in school. Yeah, he'd rather I just do this homemaking job that I'm starting to become good at. By-the-way, the Lord was very clear about me staying home and I think that it was really neat that after being away from the computer for awhile, I decided to check in with my Blogger friends and Sandra, over at,  Love Abounds At Home, had a post that matched exactly what I was going through. God you are so good! Also, thanks for the encouraging post, Sandra!!!

3 comments:

  1. That is how I feel too. My husband works very hard so that I can stay home. I am blessed as are you.

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  2. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. We are so welcome for the encouraging post.
    I know it's hard, but God will provide in ways that you won't be able to comprehend. There's been a time in our lives where my husband had to work a part time job. It was only for a season. You will reap a great harvest by being a keeper of your home :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well I truly believe that a mother belongs at home even though I know that is not popular. We sacrificed so much for me to be able to stay at home when mine were younger. I do believe that you can do things at home to make and save money at the same time. Coupons, ebay, yard sales, etc. A stay at home mothers job is the hardest job there is. I admire mothers who work an outside job. I don't see how they do it. I have a daughter that works a very hard job and has 3 children. I admire her. But I also admire a mother who chooses to stay at home with their children.

    ReplyDelete

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